They say opposites attract…

August 19, 2018 No Comments by Tess Aisthorpe

They say opposites attract & although we share many similarities & interests, there is one big difference between us.

You see, both Cara & I work with people, are surrounded by people, & cater for people. When we’re not at work or working from home, our time is spent as we need to.

For me, this time is about ‘quiet’, having silence in my space by distracting myself in other ways, to think or shut off, whichever I need. On the other hand, Cara struggles with ‘quiet’ & likes noise, whether this involves communication or constantly making noise (she claims she’s doing things…).

Easy to imagine that this could cause tension… & we like to think this is where we’re also different… it doesn’t. When you understand what you’re partner needs & you’re willing to modify your behaviour, there are no arguments or fights. If I need some quiet space or if Cara has to talk it out, each of us bends. Don’t get us wrong, we annoy the hell out of each other at times, particularly if we both are needing some ‘me time’!

For many, “quiet” may feel awkward & uncomfortable, given that we always seem to be surrounded by noise. Quiet time should be about restoring the nervous system, helping to sustain energy, & to help condition our minds to be more adaptive & responsive to the complex environments in which we live, work, & lead…This is my time to generate ideas & quality work.

Is it difficult to reconcile the fact that your partner loves you with the fact that your partner finds you fucking annoying sometimes? – Not for me it’s not. I was the eldest child growing up so I learned to self entertain VERY quickly…because otherwise time was spent looking after everyone else. I still do it. I don’t need human interaction all the time. Don’t get me wrong…I like to be around Cara & the boys & engage in what they are doing, but I can also still do my own thing & not care what they are doing, even when we’re under the same roof…

We all need to have the ability to give a little or a lot, to the one person who gives back to you.