Why are we our harshest critics?

February 11, 2018 No Comments by Tess Aisthorpe

Current stats show that 4 out of 5 Australian women suffer from low self-esteem. We are our harshest critics and that is definitely evident now. We know that this can lead to diminished confidence, low self-belief and a lack of fulfilment.

We are never enough. Nothing we do ever seems to make a real difference. These are those destructive & intrusive thoughts that limit us & cause us to question & doubt. We set unrealistic goals and expectations that we will never meet, & when these don’t add up to ‘reality’, then we automatically beat ourselves up.

Renowned human behaviourist, Dr Demartini says “This leads us onto a dangerous path towards low self-worth and even depression.” His top tips for combating our inner critic are about becoming empowered and transforming judgements into a “productive force for change.”

1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Being exposed to others “perfection” via social media has caused us to fall under the habit of comparing ourselves to others & setting unrealistic goals of who we want to be & what we want to achieve. Making comparisons takes away any valuable efforts you have already made for yourself & you may then throw away all that energy in pursuit of someone else’s….
Reflect on how far you have already come & take stock of your own.

2. Set realistic goals.
Goals need to be truly meaningful to us. They need to align with our own values & priorities. Otherwise the action is meaningless & will leave you feeling unfulfilled. Reflect & realign. Keeping those goals realistic requires reflection & reminders about your values, making them feel less overwhelming.
Achieving the smaller goals along the way gives us a boost of self confidence & improves our self-talk – the one voice that’s truly important 🙂

3. Turn negatives into positives.
When we stop & reflect upon our harsh self-criticism, anything can be used as an opportunity to build our own empowerment. Do not let these negatives stop you – use them – learn from them & let yourself grow from there.

There is a whole new generation of young women & men out there, who look to us as role models. We would never encourage those destructive thoughts or wish for the erosion of their self-confidence.

Instead of teaching this next generation that self-worth comes from materialistic elements, maybe we could try & talk about developing values, acknowledging negativity yet role-modelling positive self-talk, & living a genuine life.

Empowerment. Fulfilment. Authenticity.